Daddy’s Girl

There is this emptiness inside of me
A void that at first glance you cannot see

He is faceless, traceless
One source of my burning bitterness
He touched her skin
Plunging them both into this illicit sin
He touched her soul
Bearing its price, its heavy toll
He warmed her bed
Relishing each word she said
He spilled his seed inside of her
The breaking of his sheath did not deter
His hurried touch and exploring kiss
Plunging them further into this pleasurable abyss

Breathing heavily, he clutched her hair
He pulled away, in denial of what they shared
He had used her and abused her
Indulging in the riches that were not his to plunder
She wasn’t his to keep
He left the crumpled bills in a heap

She was accustomed to this; she was worn
This life was her constant thorn
No escape, no way out
This was her purpose, there was no doubt

Hands shaking, palms sweating, she let the liquid flow
Inside this cross lay the evidence of the life that would grow
Her womb filled with this unfamiliarity
If only there was certainty, clarity
Nine months of poverty and sobriety
If only these things could produce piety
Swollen and alone, sterile and cold
Is this the way it was meant to unfold?

She was dark and lovely, skin the color of warm honey
She was worth more than gold, not meant to be bought with man’s money
Her fragile body, her tiny fingers
These motherly feelings, they linger
Empty bed, blanket clutched to her breast
Her own cowardice, she came to detest

It was a face that he could easily recall
The love that he had stolen that fall
Her eyes were different but still known
Oh, the seed that he had sown
Had it flourished and grown into this
Was she the result of his unethical tryst?

A touch, a soft word
This couldn’t be, it was absurd
But the truth stared him in the face
Alight with love, softened by God’s grace
She was his, the flesh of his flesh
From the beginning, their lives had been enmeshed

Father, how I have longed for you
Hoped for you, dreamed of you
In my imagination, I saw your smile
My dreams would be realized if only I waited awhile
And here you are finally, standing before me
I drink you in; you are all I can see

Tears stream down my warm cheeks
In this darkness, the light is what I seek
Another dream, my heart patters in dejection
How I have longed for your affection
But I am resigned to know you only in the pitch of night
Because for you, I am out of mind, out of sight.